The Myth of ‘Sense of Accomplishment’: Social Expectations vs. Real Value

If you’ve clicked on this article, chances are you’ve been entangled with the concept of “sense of accomplishment,” or you’re currently perplexed by it. Whether you’re a CEO, a student, a stay-at-home parent, or a freelancer, we often hear the term “sense of accomplishment,” typically in stressful situations. For example, when your boss says, “You’ve done a great job on this project; you must feel quite accomplished,” you might think to yourself, “Well, my sense of accomplishment feels like a panda hugging bamboo — apparently happy but fundamentally empty.”

How Modern Society Defines “Accomplishment”

In today’s world, we’re often taught to pursue externally measurable “accomplishments,” whether it’s academic credentials, wealth, job titles, or social media likes and followers. These numbers and labels are often used as direct metrics to evaluate whether someone “feels accomplished.”

For instance, if you’re a successful entrepreneur who’s started several companies, people might label you as “accomplished.” But here’s the issue: does success truly equate to a sense of accomplishment? If you’re too busy with work to pay attention to family and friends, do you genuinely feel accomplished? Worse yet, if you acquire wealth through unethical means, can you sincerely say you feel accomplished?

Misconception: External Validation Equates to Real Sense of Accomplishment

Let’s talk about this misconception, as it’s not just a semantic issue but a global cultural misunderstanding. Most people mistakenly think external validation or praise is the only way to measure accomplishment. It’s like that old, ever-relevant joke: if a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Let’s tweak that a bit: if you have a small but meaningful accomplishment that no one knows or praises, is it still an “accomplishment”?

The answer is, absolutely! Just like that fallen tree, its existence and impact don’t require external validation.

Practical Application: Differentiating External Praise from True Inner Accomplishment

So how do we find a true, inwardly derived sense of accomplishment if we discard this externally evaluated model?

1. Self-Reflection: Ask yourself what truly gives you a sense of meaning. It doesn’t have to be monumental; anything that brings you satisfaction and pride will suffice.
2. Set Achievable Goals: Sometimes, a sense of accomplishment comes from reaching your objectives. These don’t have to be lofty — in fact, starting small often brings a more consistent feeling of accomplishment.
3. Avoid Comparisons: One’s success shouldn’t be based on comparisons with others. When you’ve reached a personal goal, regardless of its size, it’s cause for celebration.

Here, I must mention the “Deliberate Practice Theory” by Swedish psychologist K. Anders Ericsson, which argues that success is not innate but comes from long, purposeful, conscious practice. This perfectly illustrates that a sense of accomplishment is a process, not an end result. Ericsson’s theory tells us that, even before reaching a specific goal, we can experience ongoing accomplishment by engaging in goal-oriented, deliberate practice.

Suppose you’re an amateur chef who loves cooking. You may have never considered participating in a cooking competition or opening your own restaurant, but you find that every time you successfully try a new recipe and create a delicious dish, you feel an inexplicable joy and satisfaction. That is the true sense of accomplishment.

The sense of accomplishment you feel doesn’t come from external praise or validation (though receiving praise is always nice), but from deep within yourself. It’s the realization that you did it! You challenged yourself and succeeded! That sense of accomplishment is like a delicious cup of coffee; even if no one else appreciates it, it still tastes good to you.

Why Does This Matter?

You might wonder what’s the practical use of understanding this. Well, a sense of achievement not only boosts your mental health but also enhances your quality of life. According to psychologist Abraham Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs,” it’s a crucial step toward self-actualization.

Learning to find accomplishment within yourself, rather than relying on external validation, can improve your self-esteem, confidence, and overall life satisfaction. This subtle shift spices up your life; it may seem trivial but makes a huge difference.

Next time you’re feeling stressed or confused, look back on your accomplishments, big or small. They could very well be what you’ve been searching for. Just as a pizza lover will find the best pizza joint, those who love life will find their true sense of achievement.

How to Find and Foster a Genuine Sense of Accomplishment: Five Steps

Self-Awareness: Identify Your “Why”

Firstly, discover your “why” — the reason you want to achieve something. This relates to the concept of “intrinsic motivation,” extensively described in the “Self-Determination Theory” by psychologists Deci and Ryan. Simply put, strong intrinsic motivation makes achieving feel even more rewarding.

Set SMART Goals

Setting goals is vital. Use the SMART criteria: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound.

Act and Celebrate Small Wins

Achieving goals usually involves a series of steps. Each time you reach a mini-goal, reward yourself. This boosts your motivation for the next step.

Continuous Reflection and Adjustment

Throughout the journey, you might face challenges and setbacks. Use these moments to reflect and make necessary adjustments.

Gratitude and Sharing

Finally, after achieving your goal, remember to express gratitude and share your experience. This amplifies your sense of accomplishment and could inspire others.

Extended: The Relationship Between Accomplishment and Happiness

Some may wonder, “How is accomplishment related to happiness?” It’s a complex relationship. Research like that conducted by Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky shows that happiness and accomplishment are based on different psychological mechanisms. In other words, high achievement doesn’t necessarily equate to happiness.

Summary

Thoughts In a world that seems to prioritize constant “upgrades” and “optimization,” finding genuine accomplishment can be challenging. But with an inward focus, it becomes more accessible. Remember, what matters most is not the destination, but the journey and that indescribable sense of accomplishment from within.

Thank you for exploring this topic with me. If you have any thoughts or experiences to share, please comment below. Let’s find our true sense of accomplishment in this ever-changing world together!

Have a think

1. What is your personal “why” that drives you to achieve your goals?
2. Can you share an example of a SMART goal you’ve set for yourself and the sense of accomplishment you felt upon reaching it?
3. How do you strike a balance between achievement, pleasure, and meaning in your life?

Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Let’s explore together how to find our own unique sense of accomplishment in this ever-changing world.

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